Mudlark No. 59 (2015)


It’s like a radio, you know, you just find right where
you want to tune in, and you tune in, into that, you
tune in to that one sweet spot, you know, not that side  
or that side but just that perfect wavelength, you know, 
and stay there,

stay where it feels like it’s supposed to feel. I know.
Supposed to. That’s just it. But no, how you want
it to, I mean. You mean happiness, I mean. I don’t know, 
maybe. Just feeling happy even if it isn’t what you 
had in mind. 

Definitely not what you had in mind. Tell me about it.               
I'm not happy with myself, right, so how can I expect —
People call it settling and I really hate that but —
Hey, it is —
                       don’t say that — 
                                                       what it is. My life is
what it is.

Well, it’s not a fucking radio and that’s not how radios even work.
It's like, my kid is screaming in the backseat and I’m about to 
fucking lose it, and I tell myself okay, but I swear I’m going to 
fucking lose it next time somebody tells me how it’s supposed
to fucking feel.

Mark Dow | Trio
Contents | Mudlark No. 59 (2015)