Trio

I don’t say it, she said, because if I say it she’ll withdraw.
I don’t say it, he said, because it’d be catastrophic if I did.
I don’t say it, he said, because if I say it she’ll say it too.
Because I got used to them withdrawing.
Because I tried to make them stop.
Because I couldn’t make them stop.
Otherwise I’d be alone.
Otherwise we’d be alone.
Otherwise we might stay together.
And I’m the one who ends up hurt.
And I’m the one who ends up lost.
And I’m the one who ends up regretting it.
Why don’t you stop feeling sorry for yourself?
Why don’t you just get over yourself?
Why don’t you just grow up? 
That’s what I tell myself.
That’s what I tell myself.
That’s what I keep on telling myself.
At least we can talk to each other about it.
At least we can recognize ourselves in each other. 
At least we’re alive with all of this.
Maybe we’re looking for what’s not there.
For something that’s not there. Maybe.
Something that’s not even there maybe, yeah.

Mark Dow | True
Contents | Mudlark No. 59 (2015)