Arvilla Fee
State of the Human Address
We pop our pills and guzzle them down with fruit infused water from plastic bottles, which we promptly recycle, but they still end up surprising sea turtles beyond the bay. We excuse our behaviors with a myriad of labels we have so cleverly carved from the recesses of our minds—it’s fine, we say to the bipolar, narcissistic, manic depressive—here, have some more pills. Then go to work in your 9 x 9 cubicle, stare at a screen, have as little interaction as possible. But make sure you visit the gym on your day off. Hamburgers are unhealthy, but the FDA approved Red Dye 40, in small amounts, naturally. Drive around pot holes; the bridges are perfectly safe, as are the trains, (except in cases of collapse or derailments). The more you go to concerts, movie theaters and shopping malls, the better you’ll feel— unless, of course, there’s an active shooter. In that case, run for your lives; it’s all random. You at least have some semblance of control when you order your tall Frappuccino, extra shot of espresso, soy milk, no whip cream, light ice, and sip it through a biodegradable paper straw. Never settle for silence, not even while pumping gas; entertainment can maintain equilibrium, but thinking is unhealthy and may result in unwanted education, a frightful peek under the bloated belly of government bureaucracies and overspending. At some point, you can retire, but not until your joints have reached optimal arthritis; that’s really the best time to buy a red sports car and wear those pricey sunglasses you craved in your twenties. Still unfulfilled? Visit a beach, say hello to the turtles, pick up rogue plastic, increase your medication.
Genetics
What shall come tumbling out of this baby lying still in my lap sucking his thumb? What inner workings lie within his mind, dormant, yet maybe just so, until a crest of late blooming as he sprouts into toddler, child and teen. Raking through leaves of his past, (heritage, the agency calls it) will those discoveries come trumpeting into his life like a herd of pissed elephants? Will they scream and throw things; will they require the steady hands of professionals and saints? Will the trail of cocaine use, malfunctions, disorders… you know, that one maternal grandmother, that crazy uncle—somehow mar this still-cradled soul, or can nurture overcome those ancient natured beasts?
Civilization
(dedicated to Ukrainian survivors)
There’s a choking thickness in the air—gray ash that coats throats and memories. People stoop, even the youngest appearing ancient—faces gaunt, hands clutching carrots scattered among the cadavers. Bellies hollow, filled with nothing but bile for days—eyes transfixed as they watch dogs gnaw on the dead, the half-dead feed on dogs. There lies the back of a chair, books with splayed spines, their pages swept away by the wind, cutlery, teacups, a cellphone—all signs of civilization and yet people are digging through dirt, scraping survival from beneath cinder blocks with broken fingernails, unable to process the marquee to the movie theatre that now sits askew or the fragmented walls where artwork once graced a gallery; for not a single soul can bakeAtlantis or boil a Vasyl Krychevsky in the aftermath of an aggressor who slashes sovereignty as though he is some primeval predator who has never held a wine glass in his claws. We’ve come so far, people say—and yet it is achingly obvious we have not come far enough.
Arvilla Fee teaches English Composition at Clark State College in Springfield, Ohio, and is the poetry editor of the San Antonio Review. Her book of poems, The Human Side, is available on Amazon. Writing, for Arvilla, “produces the greatest joy when it connects us to each other.”
Copyright © Mudlark 2023
Mudlark Flashes | Home Page